How To Convince Your Parents To Let You Play Football 6 Parenting Tips For Dads

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6 Parenting Tips For Dads

Congratulations, you are now a responsible adult!

Having children is a complete game changer in every aspect and your life will never be the same again. You will see the world and everything in it in a completely different light.

Whereas before, if someone sped through the neighborhood in their Porsche convertible, you’d think ‘Nice car,’ now you think, ‘Slow down, asshole!’

Like it or not, you are now personally responsible for the life of another human being. Enjoy it, get involved, don’t be that guy who doesn’t take responsibility, instead immerse yourself in the wonderful messy and chaotic world of being a parent and know that whether you’re 14 or 40, you’re now an adult: deal with that.

Learn the art of bribery

Although not many people will admit that being a parent involves a lot of bribery. As we all know very well, everything in life comes at a cost and that includes keeping your little darlings calm while you work to soothe your migraine.

Candy is your children’s crack cocaine and you are their dealer. Use it wisely, otherwise they’ll end up toothless and diabetic, but pretty soon you’ll be wearing the parent favorite of ‘As long as she promises to be good…’

Use your TV for kids remote control

Your TV used to be used for fun things like Monday night football or your favorite movie, but now it will be transformed into the ultimate digital babysitter. He may try to convince himself that he won’t let the box corrupt the minds of his children, but wait until he discovers the power of her television to pass through his children and provide him with valuable respite. . He’d be great if there was a remote for his kids, but his TV is the next best thing.

Just a few words of wisdom here. Breaking Bad is not acceptable as proper viewing for your children and is in no way educational nor can South Park or Family Guy be justified in any way simply because they are cartoons.

It’s true that some of the kids’ shows I’m forced to watch with my kids make me want to lose the will to live, and frankly, I think no one can be as nice as Barney without some kind of hidden agenda.

If you have to watch TV with your kids, try introducing shows that are kid-friendly but won’t turn your brain to mush. I’d recommend The Wiggles – they’re Australian and used to be in a band before they decided to become children’s entertainers and they seem like a decent bunch of guys I’d definitely have a beer with, which is more than I can say for Barney. But be careful; you have to be watching the original Wiggles. If they’re headed by a gormless goofy girl and giant, then you’re looking at the ‘new’ wiggles after they’ve sold out and charged to retire somewhere far, far away from the kids.

Get used to being choked on bodily fluids

While single; this could be really appealing to you, but unfortunately with children this takes on a whole new meaning.

If you have a squeamish disposition, have a cleanliness obsession, or insist on cleaning your laptop keyboard with one of those mini vacuums, then parenthood is in for a surprise.

There used to be a children’s show in the UK when I was young called TISWAS and one of the features of the show was the gunge machine. This basically involved emptying a large amount of drool over the head of the guest for the day and having children is a bit like that. Snot, poop, urine, earwax, blood: at any moment you know that you are going to get dirty.

I suggest you watch the entire first series of Grey’s Anatomy just to get used to the sudden and random appearance of the various bodily fluids that will at any given time be splashed on you.

Will I get any?

I know we’re not supposed to talk about this, but I’m European so I can get away with it.

Let me put it like this; she will get up 5-6 times a night to feed her child, she will be exhausted, she will most likely suffer from postpartum depression and she will be worried about her newly arrived stretch marks. The top half of her has been transformed into a food delivery system, while the bottom half is recovering from expelling her newborn whose head is the size of a melon.

Sorry, but there is no way to sugarcoat this pill; it’s time to have a hobby; this is how most golfers started out.

be there for your children

Those magical moments are fleeting and will never be repeated. In the blink of an eye, the kid who currently hugs you tight and thinks you’re the best person in the universe will lock himself in his room wearing black lip gloss and listening to Thrash Metal. Don’t let the babysitter be the first person to see her child’s first steps or hear her first word. If you can, start a home-based business so YOU ​​are there to experience the magic of growing.

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